Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Sorry my hands just texted you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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