I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
