hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
