I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
