dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
