Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
