This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
