my mouth tastes like poor choices
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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