what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
