he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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