Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
