dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Randomize
