Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
