He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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