my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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