woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Randomize
