I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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