hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
