I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
