i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
