I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
