That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
