He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
