I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
