fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
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