I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
