So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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