Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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