**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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