Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize