ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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