just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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