There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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