got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
You've changed since you got that strap on
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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