There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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