508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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