So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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