I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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