Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I think my moral compass just broke
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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