You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
