Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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