Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
