His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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