At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
