its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
