Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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