I hope mine doesn't look like that
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
