3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
