Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
