super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
there was a trapeze. enough said
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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