Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
